Pardon the Interruption

I have been trying to continue my Christmas posts for two days now and have just not been able to face them. Have you ever been so worried about something that you felt like some one's pushed the pause button-- every one's rushing around but your stuck in slow motion and completely unable to focus? Everything is blurry and I just can't seem to function properly.
My brother-in-law has cancer. It's not new, many of you know that he's been living with it for years now, but we don't talk about it a lot. He's gotten so good at pretending he's fine and we kinda like pretending to believe him. It makes it easier to keep moving. Recently, however, he's been in such pain that he can't pretend anymore. I wish I could say that the worst part of that was having to face the reality that cancer is still there, but it's not. The worst part is wondering why that pain is there. Worrying that nothing can make it better. Knowing there's nothing I can do to fix it and being so far away that I can't even give my sister and her family a hug. Cancer seriously sucks, people!
Anyway, I'm trying really really hard to remind myself it won't do any good to be angry. I keep finding myself wanting to hit something and say lots of bad words, but I'm trying to remember that the one thing I can do is pray. So if you're reading this, say a little prayer for your family, and mine, too.